by Vanessa Cardenas, Trusted Advisor for Betrayal & Transformation

Being betrayed by my beloved made me very critical of my own body.  For weeks, I couldn’t even look in a mirror as I would rip myself to shreds.

During the reprieves from the intrusive thoughts and mental pictures, which I over-romanticized, I was obsessing about my features, especially my hands.  I thought about aging, how women doubt themselves as they get older, society's lack of acceptance of women at different ages, social media and the ease by which sexual content is readily available, and how women are exploited to exploit men.  

Diving headfirst into rebuilding relationship trust, with the help of marriage counseling, therapy, CSAT, EMDR, and coaches, and absorbing all the wisdom of the great authors on betrayal, healing began to emerge.

My rage, fear, shame, self-doubt, anxiety, and everything else I was feeling dissipated, with profound hope taking its place.

I reclaimed myself, feeling empowered and resilient.

I wanted to capture that moment in time—a visual reminder of my authentic self.  It was important for me to highlight that a woman of my age could be beautifully photographed—and with her clothes on.

This portrait, specifically through a mirror, reminds me of who I truly am.

I encourage you to reach out for support, whether that’s a religious leader, a marriage counselor, a therapist to dig through your past, or a trusted advisor to help you see the future. Reach out for support to work through all of the feelings that you have, because there are, and will be, many along your journey. It's time to reclaim yourself.

Of course, let me know if I can help. I have been where you are, and I am on the other side with a map and a flashlight. Together, we will get you through.