By Vanessa Cardenas, Trusted Advisor for Betrayal & Transformation

During the days and weeks following Discovery Day, I was desperate to make sense of how after decades of being happily married, my whole world shattered with the 3 words, "I've met someone".

 

My mind, heart, and gut were completely disconnected.  

 

My mind was constantly racing and the "nasty chic' voice was a constant companion those first months.  I couldn't look in the mirror for weeks, the critic would jump up and critique every wrinkle or grey hair.  Ruminating thoughts were on constant replay as if I created a playlist of gut-wrenching scenarios to view even when my bloodshot eyes finally closed from exhaustion.  Then the endless stream of slit-your-wrist love songs; why is it suddenly all I heard was every song played at our wedding? Or the out-of-tune symphony of voices playing in my head...it was awful...

 

Gratefully, I discovered the importance that mental fitness has on the healing process.

 

Now, years later, after self-study, certifications, along hundreds of hours of clinical sessions with my clients, I am focused on helping others heal from intimate partner betrayal using the mental fitness program.  Many clients have greatly benefited from incorporating simple daily mental fitness practices into their routines to effectively shut down the trigger cascade, the ruminating thoughts, the nasty voice, and the neediness of sleuthing, amongst all the other things that plague the betrayed.  

 

In the best book on mental fitness, Positive Intelligence®, author Shirzad Chamine shares compelling reasons for focusing on, measuring, and improving your mental fitness, otherwise known as Positive Intelligence.

 

What is Positive Intelligence®?  Positive Intelligence® is an indication of how well your mind acts in your best interest.

Shirzad writes:

 

“As I’ve already suggested, your mind is your best friend, but it is also your worst enemy. Positive Intelligence is the relative strength of these two modes of your mind.  Positive Intelligence is therefore an indication of the control you have over your own mind and how well your mind acts in your best interest.”

Of course, I encourage reading the book, however, putting the tools into practice alone can be challenging. Did you learn to ride a bike from reading a book?  You needed someone holding the back of the seat, holding the handlebars from one side, reminding you to pedal, and telling you to look up...For this reason, I offer the Positive Intelligence® program within my heal from betrayal packages.  May you find exactly who you need to help you on your healing journey.  Reach out if I can be of service or help you find the right person from my vast network of colleagues.