By Vanessa Cardenas, Trusted Advisor for Betrayal & Transformation

Betrayal by infidelity can be one of the most devastating experiences in a marriage. When you find out that your spouse has been unfaithful, it rips you apart and leaves you feeling angry, hurt, and lost. It's important to understand that healing from betrayal is a process and it takes time. Here are five essential steps you can take to help you survive the betrayal and begin to heal.

Allow yourself to feel your emotions.

When you find out that your partner has been unfaithful, you're likely to experience a range of emotions. It's important to allow yourself to feel these emotions, rather than trying to suppress them. Cry, scream, or do whatever you need to do to release your emotions in a healthy way.

Get support from others.

Reach out to friends, family, or a trusted advisor for support during this difficult time. Talking to someone who can offer a non-judgmental ear, preferably someone that speaks from experience, not a textbook,  can be a huge help as you work through your emotions. You don't have to go through this alone.

Take care of yourself.

It's easy to neglect your own well-being when you're dealing with the trauma of infidelity. But taking care of yourself is essential for your recovery. Make sure you're eating well, getting enough sleep, and engaging in self-care activities that bring you joy and relaxation.

Communicate often.

It is easy to shut down and "turtle", however, nothing will get resolved with silence. Be sure to keep your lines of communication open.  Communicate your feelings and let your partner know what would make you feel safe (setting boundaries).

Decide what you want for your future.

Betrayal can be a wake-up call for many couples, and it can lead to important conversations about what each person wants for the future. Take time to reflect on what you want for your future, both individually and as a couple. If you decide to work on your relationship, be clear about what you need from your partner to feel secure and loved.

Surviving betrayal is a difficult and complex process, but it's not impossible. By following these five essential steps, you can begin to heal from the betrayal and move forward with a stronger and more secure relationship, whether with your spouse or in a new relationship.